Dan and John's Wings Sauced Me Up and Knocked Me Out

2021, Jun 12

Dan & John’s Wings, founded in a Brooklyn apartment by two Buffalo natives, had been on my hit list for a while before this year. Their expertly-sauced chicken has been featured on pretty much every best-of New York list of note, and tend to run out days in advance in the run-up to major wing events like the Super Bowl.

I accidentally ordered boneless wings on my first go-round with Dan & John’s on Uber Eats. Boneless wings, of course, are basically chicken nuggets and not a suitable meal for anyone over the age of 16. The fault was mine; I ate the chicken with a good degree of self-loathing.

I decided to give Dan & John’s another shot today, double-checking I had selected ‘traditional’ wings before confirming my order in Uber Eats. My garlic parmesan ten-piece arrived in good time; as soon as I tore open the sauce-soaked paper bag, I knew I was looking at the real, bone-in deal.

Plump and glistening with a white-buttery parmesan sauce, the ten-piece set was a perfect size late-afternoon second lunch (yes, that’s a thing for me on Saturdays). The flavor, too, was an expertly mixed gravy of sharp parmesan with mildly pungent garlic.

I capped off the wings with a little jaunt to a trusty corner bodega, where I picked up a 16 oz. bottle of citrus kombucha, a cashew butter chocolate bar and a pint of Van Leeuwen Brown Sugar Chunk oat milk ice cream.

The ice cream pint sent me over the deep end into the most serious food coma I’ve had in a long, long time; here I lie on my bed, languidly tapping out barely-coherent food ramblings, regretting many decisions, savoring a few, in the back of my head thinking, I wish I had one more wing…

A 4.5 out of 5 for Dan and John’s Wings. I’m going to collect all the flavors, like Pokemon. Then I’ll be a Pokemon-collecting wing-eating lazy guy on a bed. How ya like me now?

Until next time.