Need a Hero? Go Find Lil Susie on Essex Street

Today has been concerningly beautiful in New York City, with temperatures in the mid-70s and sunshine that makes you forget we’ll all be in darkness by 5:30 p.m. Combine the Midsommar-esque cloudless sky with the raucous, city-wide celebrations of Joseph R. Biden’s election victory — apparently ceaseless car-honking is a way of showing joy, not just frustration — and the whole day felt kind of whimsical.

In the spirit of whimsy, I decided to veer slightly off my beaten path and head down to Essex Market on Delancey Street for some very special, thank-God-the-election-is-finally-over lunch.

Essex Market — opened in May 2019 after relocating and re-branding from the 79-year-old Essex Street Market — has a murderer’s row of food options, from the Swedish snack shop Nordic Preserves, Fish & Wildlife Co. to the acid-dream of Shopsin’s 900+-item menu.

But, all whimsy aside, I went to Essex with a particular focus — obtaining a hot, messy, meaty sandwich from Heroes & Villains. Heroes & VIllains serves up multiple stand-out sandwiches — Eater NYC crowned their fried chicken sandwich, the Proud Mary, among the 10 best dishes at the Essex Market opening — and their menu also includes creative riffs on fried chicken parm subs and Bronx-style chopped cheese.

Given the vernal vibes and the people literally dancing in the streets, I felt a double cheeseburger would be an appropriate order; enter the Lil Susie, a charred-and-cheesy beauty of a burger that comes with caramelized onions, pickles, and ‘Stoney Sauce’. I went for the double, along with a side of shoestring cheese fries.

The order was prepared fresh, and I was able to grab a pair of soft-baked cookies from another market vendor, the cheese shop Riverdel (note to self: come back to Essex Street for blocks of vegan cheese) before picking up my burger and fries and heading to the outdoor seating.

The Lil Susie came as advertised — two juicy, dripping patties melted over with American cheese, caramelized onions and that mysterious Stoney Sauce poking out from under a fluffy potato bun. It looked like the platonic ideal of a backyard barbecue burger, the kind of handheld masterpiece every summertime grillmaster strives for.

Thankfully, Lil Susie tasted as photogenic as she looked. The patties-and-cheese packed a savory punch of flavor; I could’ve gone straight keto and eaten the whole shebang without a bun. And I can only guess what’s in the sweet-tangy concoction of ‘Stoney Sauce,’ but layering that stuff with caramelized onions and pickles is like mixing cookie butter with any dessert — it can only go right.

All together, I’d give the Lil Susie a kisses fingertips. And if I have to give a numerical rating, 4.5 out of 5. This burger alone is worth a trip to Essex Market, for all you nascent NYC explorers who are still nervous to venture out.

Oh yeah, the shoestring cheese fries were also bomb — so crispy and salty, I didn’t even need ketchup! Just let some drops of Stoney Sauce fall all over the fries, mix in the hang-off meat from the burger, and voilà — you’ve got yourself a Lower East Side poutine.

Heroes & Villains, you’re all heroes to me. Keep the lights on please, ‘cuz I’m comin’ back for a Proud Mary.

Until next time.